 - Last login: 3 hours agoTextuous
- Textuous is a 51 year old guy from Near-N-Yondered, Texas, USA.
- Likes 6 pages • 75 fans • Received 47 reviews
- Member since Mar 30, 2006
Antique Cowboy with tarnished six-shooter, rusty spurs, and swaybacked steed. Garage kept, housebroken, and mannerful. Grammatically textuous, with traces of chivalry and dance-floor etiquette. If you read the blog...the least you can do is say hello and leave a smile or sumthin'.
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MUDDIN'
Just in case there's a Yankee in the bunch...muddin' is a southern term for fun...as in locking in the four-wheel drive, leaving the pavement behind, finding an old logging road, shallow creek, or boggy ravine...then seeing just how far the truck will go before it stops moving.
Muddin' is most effectively done in phases. Phase 1 is officially known as "Loadin Up", and involves making sure all the important stuff makes it into the truck...ice chest, Alan Jackson, CCR, and Eagles CDs, one big dog, one cute lady, a shovel or two, and Scooby Snacks for all involved. (Filling the tank with gas should also be considered.)
Phase 2, or "Ridin' Around", consists of opening and closing the ice chest several times, cranking up the volume and howling along to "Pop-a-Top Again", and sliding the rear window open so Dog can poke his head inside and enjoy the fun.
Phase 3 is called the Dare, and inevitably contains some portion of the following conversation: You're not going through THERE !!!?? What...you DARE me? Hold my beer. This is INSANE. Gotta get a running start. Oh sh%$ !!! Maybe if I rock it. Where's Dog? There's water in the floor. You Ok? I can't get the door open. Uh oh. Now you've done it. (and lastly) Where's my beer?
Phase 4 doesn't really have a name, but normally involves winch lines, high RPMs, shovels, gritty soggy clothes, pitch darkness, and at least one boot (or shoe) lost forever, sock and all, in the mud. But the most interesting part of Phase 4 is that 97.35% of the time, the truck, when it finally gains traction, ends up on the far side of the mud hole from civilization, requiring various parts of Phase 3 to be reenacted.
Phase 5 is known as "The Strut", and consists of driving slowly through town at least seven times, allowing everyone to admire the amount of mud under, in, and on the truck and it's occupants. Points are subtracted from the overall score if anyone is able to discern the color of the truck, and bonus points are earned for water dripping from the bottom of the doors. And... if you're among the top three "mudders" of the week, you get to park the truck in your front yard and skip washing it for four or five days until everyone is done taking pictures.
Phase 6, or DeMuddin', depends entirely upon the adventuresomeness of the lady. Some prefer to be taken home immediately, so they can wash their hair, and are rarely re-invited. Others seem to adopt the attitude that since YOU are responsible for the mud in the first place, you can also do your part in helping remove it.
This phase can involve...um...shall we say...several sub-phases, and can become quite time-consuming. Best to plan accordingly.
Meyer
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